I think that I write when I am upset.
I write, or get inspired to write well after midnight.
Being a girl is hard. Being a somewhat.. not ugly girl is hard.
I had a conversation with someone where we were talking about things that are important to us. He said "I'm sure yours is clothes, or makeup, or something like that right?" Right, because the only thing that matters to a pretty girl is clothes and makeup. Just because I decide to care about what I look like, or enjoy looking nice, does not mean that I am a shallow, stupid, bimbo. But so many times, that is what people assume.
For 24 years I have been treated like a ditz. Having emotions is wrong. Having an opinion is wrong. Being more than a pretty face is wrong.
While I was in high school, I liked this guy, he of course didn't know I existed. After we graduated he messaged me on Facebook.
Guy: Hey :)
Me: Hello
Guy: Wow, you grew up ;)
Me: Yeah, that tends to happen over time... =]
Guy: what...?
Then the conversation quickly dwindled away before it even began. He didn't want a sarcastic answer,
he wanted "thanx *wink face *flirty-flirty-lame-small-talk
In my small amount of life experience, I believe that women are treated like machines. There are set amount of appropriate conversation topics, responses, and opinions. If you do not meet the criteria, you are not good enough. If someone asks for your opinion, but you don't give the correct response, you are wrong. If you show too much emotion "you must be getting ready to start your period" If you don't flirt the way someone expects, you are required to change, or they will move on.
Why is it that I have a limit to the amount of emotions I am allowed to show before it annoys you. Why is it okay for a man to tell me to go back to the kitchen where I belong, be dead serious, and everyone laughs like its a joke. Then I'm just being hormonal, uptight when I bite back. Why is it okay for you to make me feel like less of a person because I am a woman?
I am so tired of this. I am so tired of girls being vicious towards girls and boys treating us like oblivious objects. I am hard on myself as is, I don't need anybody else's help to bring my self esteem down.
They say that girls are hard on themselves. Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's because its socially acceptable to treat girls like they are worthless.
This is totally a rant, and I probably won't post this on Facebook for everyone to see. But I do think that this is a real problem. And I am working on not caring about what others think of me, and caring more about what I think of me.
until next time...
