Youth

Remember that time when I actually updated my blog? Yeah, life has been crazy as I am sure you can understand. Quick update for those who don't already know, I'm in Minnesota! I am living with my lovely in-laws and my hubby and I are here for the summer. He has a job as a tree doctor and I am babysitting when I can. Ta-Da, all caught up.

Today my post is a bit of a rant, but not necessarily whiny, more my insight on a comment I get very often.

"How old are you? 16? 17?"
"Aww you look like one of those kids from the Disney Channel!"
"Excuse me miss, is this ID fake? You don't look like you're even 18." (at the airport)
"Isn't it so funny!! I look older than you!" (said from a 15 year old)

I AM TWENTY-TWO.

Yes I understand that I'll love it when I'm older.
BUT when I am babysitting a 12 year old (who looks like she is 16) and her 15 year old sister (who looks like she is 20, no joke.) asks if I'm one of her little sisters friends... that my dear readers, is not fun.

My problem with this is that I am very much a girly-girl. I can't wear a dress without looking like a kid, I can't curl my hair without looking like a kid, I can't go with out makeup without looking like a kid.
"What is wrong with looking like a kid," you may ask? I don't get taken seriously. I was in a place of work and a co-worker would make fun of me in front of customers. Being a mature person I just brushed it off and went on with my job. Then customers got in on it. Saying I looked like somebody from Disney channel, while another customer said "oh I think it's because she's got the baby cheeks." Seriously? She might as well had called me fat. Saying I have baby cheeks or that I look like a kid IS NOT A COMPLIMENT.
There is a time and place for that. Try me again in 10-15+ years lady.

I have taken care of myself for a long time. I have always been mature and self sufficient for my age. I've always wanted to be treated fair regardless of my age, gender, and religion. Since I look young, people assume that I am naive, helpless, and lack the ability to carry on an adult conversation. Since I am a very much in-tune with my feminine side people assume I am a ditz, stuck up, and unable to be self sufficient. Lastly, since I am a Mormon (who looks barely 18) I fit in to the misconception that all Mormons marry young. In the world this is perceived as being a negative life choice. With all of these qualities I carry, I am constantly being misjudged in many unflattering ways.
Now, what you might not know is that I have more common sense in my pinkie that most people do in their whole bodies. I will stick up for myself and others because contrary to popular belief, I've got a backbone. I am smart, independent, and compassionate. I married not even a year ago to a man I love. We dated for two years and I trust him and he knows me better than anybody. I made the choice to marry young. Not because of my religion, not because I was pressured, not because I was naive. Because I love him and I want to spend the rest of forever with him.

SO, what have we learned?
When you tell me, or any other person that they look quite a bit younger than they are, you are lowering self-esteem. You are making me feel like I have to wear makeup every day to be taken seriously. That I can't wear that super cute floral dress I just bought because I look like a child. You are saying that you are the bigger, better adult, and I'm just this cute little girl. You may not think you're implying these things but you are. That is how it will be taken. Please think before you say anything that might be detrimental to someone.

Oh and for those of you who have said to me:
"youth is wasted on the young"
"stop being so sensitive"
"well you getting so worked up about it sounds pretty childish to me"

I want to punch you in the face.
With a chair.

Until Next Time..

Beauty

I have seen so many articles online about feeling beautiful in your own skin. I have a few things to add.

Imagine if you will, about twenty years ago. A two year old Rebekah. Chunky, curly haired, and almost Blonde. (I know. weird) I was the most girly little girl. Dresses. Princesses and Pink. Jump forward to elementary school. I inherited the nickname "scrawny". I had frizzy GIANT hair, and it is almost black. I still loved the dresses and being girly. I wasn't into the princesses (as much) and I hate the color pink. A lot has changed right?

The picture on the left was 7th grade. The picture on the right was about 4th grade. 

I was bullied. People thought it was funny that I was so thin that I could fit in lockers. I was shoved in mine multiple times. In middle school the cool and convenient thing to do was to "set" your lockers. You would put in your combination and leave it so when you came out of class you could just walk right up and open it. I came out of class and saw my locker open, boys going through it, and all my books, papers, and what ever else I had in there strewn all down the hall. I was told that the local thrift shop had just received donations, so I should probably go find some new clothes. I was called dog breath, goth, scrawny, bones, and anorexic. I was told that I looked like somebody that would come to school and kill everyone. I was handed tweezers in the hall and told to go take care of my eyebrows. Freshman year of high school, I LITERALLY had no friends. I sat at lunch alone while people threw their food at me. 

You can imagine the love I had for school back then. My grades suffered, my self confidence suffered, and in turn I didn't like myself for a very long time. I got my braces off, grew into my body a little more, and learned how to tame the hair I have. I tried SO hard to fit in. I wanted people to think that I was pretty. I wanted to have friends. My little sister happens to have super thick hair like me. She is getting ready to turn 15 and does not care one bit what people think of her. I wish that I could have been more like that. I would constantly try and dress her up, do her hair, and tweeze her eyebrows. One day we were getting ready for school and I was so angry that she kept wearing those pants that were way too short and that stupid little kid t-shirt. Her hair was sticking up in six different directions and I just wanted her to change. I wanted so badly for her to not have to go through the things I did at her age. The difference between us was that she is so much more confident that I could ever be. I was so blinded by my big sister tendency to protect her that I didn't see that she didn't need to be protected. I learned that my little sister was going to school and sticking up for herself and the other kids that were being bullied. Her courage and self confidence made me realize what a beautiful young lady she is inside and out.

After I moved out to Utah, I discovered who Rebekah really is. I am one weird chick. I like Star-Wars, and reading. I am the worst cook ever. I trip over nothing more often than I trip over something. I like trying to dance the weirdest way possible. I like singing really badly in the car. I LOVE wearing high heals. I run like a wounded animal. I really like shooting guns. I like to think i'm witty, but i'm usually not. I dream of being a race car driver. I really like doing manual labor, like building stuff. I wish I had more scars. I want to make a difference in the world someday. I don't have one style. Somedays I dress in my cowboy boots, other days I dress like a hipster. Occasionally I wear sweats... (ok, like a lot) I am not defined by who others think I should be. I am who ever I want to be. 

As a young person I was judged by my appearance as a nerd, someone who didn't know how to dress herself. As an adult I am judged as a goody-two-shoes, a snob, someone who only cares about my looks.

 I will tell you this right now. I know better than anybody not to judge a book by its cover. I have met some of the most fantastic, influential, kind-hearted people in all shapes and sizes. 

Show the world who you really are. No matter how strange you think that is. That's what makes us interesting. 

"There is no exquisite beauty, without some strangeness in the proportion"

-Edgar Allan Poe

Until next time..

Ramblings

I am a terrible blogger. I was one hundred and ten percent positive that I promised to write at least once a month. nope. I said once a week. Well here I am writing. Better late than never right? Yeah, my professors don't seem to appreciate that little saying as much as I do. Something about "well you should have turned it in when it was due" yada yada yada. Anywho, that is not what this blog will be about today. I'm actually not sure myself what I will write about. For about four to five months now I've not felt 100%. I'll get a little cough, or a runny nose. But nothing too crazy. I just pound down a gallon of OJ and call it good. As of yesterday morning I am officially sick. Sore throat and all. Fun fact. I still have my tonsils. Even though the doctors have told me multiple times I need to have them removed. I have had strep over 15 times. Back in high school I would get it multiple times a year. I am terrified of surgery. I do not handle pain well. And quite frankly, you can not have my tonsils Mister Doctor Man. They are mine! (insert pre-teen tantrum here)
Ok, Im scared. whatever.
Also fun fact. I still have my wisdom teeth. They are pretty much sideways, and not happy teeth. So They will have to come out eventually too. I am a little sissy pants when I think about being "put under" I don't like it. I DO NOT like it. But, in all honesty, I really want one of those videos of people after getting their wisdom teeth taken out. I just hope I don't say something really embarrassing. Lets just hope for my sake its just rambling gibberish. (kind of like my blog today)

I would like to try something with my readers. (who may or may not just be my mother) (HI MOM)
If you could pretty please comment after reading this, it could just be a smiley face. Or what you thought about what I wrote. Or what you would like me to write about next time. Or questions you have, or advice you need. I am at your service! I would really love it!! (Because I am obviously struggling to come up with my own topics... I just rambled on about my tonsils and wisdom teeth) I really have a lot to say, just maybe not while i'm sick. I promise next week will be better.

Until next time...

Assignment: Advice.

In this world of social media, here I am, participating in yet another online outlet that may just be to convince myself that what I have to say matters. Let me start off by saying that these blogs will be filled with my opinions, ideas, lame indiana slogans, and lots of grammatical and spelling errors. Thank you spell check, or this could get really embarrassing. I am writing for myself. Not for you, not for my husband, not for joe-shmoe down the street. If what I have to say helps you, then that is spectacular and that makes me really happy and Id love to hear about it! If you hate it all and think I'm a dummy, feel free to keep your comments to yourself. 
Now. This being said, I have made a promise (and a handshake with my hubby) that I will write a blog once a week. It may be about how much I hate city drivers, how much I miss home, trials I've overcome, or which ever new TV show I'm obsessing over on Netflix. It will be at random (as most things in my brain are) and it will be awesome! 
I have always loved writing. But I've always felt that what I've had to say wasn't witty or clever enough. To that I raise you a big fat I don't care anymore! I'm going to school, working, playing on weekends, missing home, and chasing around my 23 year old ball of energy that I call my husband. I can't deprive the internet world of my adventures! So lets dive right in.

Health 1100. Utah Valley University. Orem. We are learning about relationships and I was assigned to write a paper interviewing two married couples. I was to write about how they met, how long they had been together, trials they've faced, how they overcame them, and their advice to other married couples. I received some of the most profound advice from these four individuals. I learned that even though the world accepts divorce when things get hard (sometimes that is the appropriate action) some people still believe that when things are broken, you fix them... not throw it away. 

This is part of my paper that I have submitted. 

" I felt so much love and kindness from these two couples. I adore their stories and their advice. I have learned that every relationship goes through hard times. But that rising up from those hard times is really what makes that bond stronger. Communication, respect, selflessness, trust, and putting your significant others needs in front of your own is some amazing ways to strengthen your marriage. I think that every couple is different. There are similarities, but each relationship is as different as the individuals with in it but love is a constant. Call me a romantic if you will, but I still believe that love conquers all."

I was able to learn a lot from these people. And for their privacy's sake I'm not going to talk about their responses but I'm going to wrap this up with the most influencing part of these interviews. Both couples had a resounding thesis statement (HA! high school english. I DID learn something) That if your personal happiness comes from seeing your loved one happy, then you're doing something right.

I hope you continue to read my ramblings that I call blogs.
Thank you for reading!

Until next time...